Breakaway

I couldn't tell all my problem. Not because I dont want but it's just hurt when you just could listen to it but don't understand. Here's a song fit me right now. 

"Breakaway - Kelly Clarkson"

Grew up in a small town

And when the rain would fall down

I'd just stare out my window

Dreaming of what could be

And if I'd end up happy

I would pray (I would pray)

Trying hard to reach out

But when I tried to speak out

Felt like no one could hear me

Wanted to belong here

But something felt so wrong here

So I prayed I could break away

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly

I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky

And I'll make a wish

Take a chance

Make a change

And breakaway

Out of the darkness and into the sun

But I won't forget all the ones that I love

I'll take a risk

Take a chance

Make a change

And breakaway

Wanna feel the warm breeze

Sleep under a palm tree

Feel the rush of the ocean

Get onboard a fast train

Travel on a jet plane, far away (I will)

And breakaway

Buildings with a hundred floors

Swinging around revolving doors

Maybe I don't know where they'll take me but

Gotta keep moving on, moving on

Fly away, breakaway

I'll spread my wings

And I'll learn how to fly

Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye

I gotta take a risk

Take a chance

Make a change

And breakaway

Out of the darkness and into the sun

But I won't forget the place I come from

I gotta take a risk

Take a chance

Make a change

And breakaway, breakaway, breakaway

Smile over sadness

So much have changed this one year..

People changed, everything changed..

Time flies, so much things that I known..

No effort like usual.. You used to put me first.. 

Now seem you choose your friends more..

You just fall for me cause loneliness..

I choose to hold on cause let go is harder..

I'm learning to accept the fact now..

...

I'm stuck

Song's lyrics is the best way to speak out

"Stuck In The Moment"

With you, with you

I wish we had another time,

I wish we had another place.

Now Romeo and Juliet,

Bet they never felt the way we felt.

Bonnie and Clyde,

Never had to hide like we do, we do.

You and I both know it can't work,

It's all fun and games,

'Til someone gets hurt,

And I don't, I won't let that be you

See like Adam and Eve,

Tragedy was our destiny,

Like Sonny and Cher,

I don't care, I've got you baby.

See we both fighting every inch of our fiber,

Cause ain't no way it's gonna end right but,

We are both too foolish to stop.

Now you don't wanna let go,

And I don't wanna let you know

That there might be something real between us two, who knew?

Now we don't wanna fall but,

We're tripping in our hearts and,

It's reckless and clumsy,

And I know you can't love me,

I wish we had another time,

I wish we had another place,

But everything we have is stuck in the moment,

And there's nothing my heart can do,

To fight with time and space,

Cause I'm still stuck in the moment with you

See like just because this cold, cruel world

Saying we can't be,

Baby, we both have the right to disagree,

And I ain't with it.

And I don't wanna be so old and gray,

Reminiscing about these better days,

But convention's telling us to let go

So we'll never know

I wish we had another time,

I wish we had another place,

Cause everything we did,

And everything we have is stuck in the moment

I wish we had another time,

I wish we had another place,

But everything we have is stuck in the moment,

And there's nothing my heart can do (nothing my heart can do)

To fight with time and space (and space).

I'm still stuck in the moment with you

Unbreakable moment

Today is the sweetest moment that I've ever feel.. Although it just a simple one, yet it become the most meaningful surprise.. Speechless and touching.. And I become the luckiest girl today.. Thanks for those candle light along that stairs.. I see your effort through it all ❤ thousand thanks from my deepest heart

That feels again

Here's a song to represented my feeling right now. 

Welcome to my life 
by simple plan

Do you ever feel like breaking down?

Do you ever feel out of place,

Like somehow you just don't belong

And no one understands you?

Do you ever wanna run away?

Do you lock yourself in your room

With the radio on turned up so loud

That no one hears you're screaming?

Do you wanna be somebody else?

Are you sick of feeling so left out?

Are you desperate to find something more

Before your life is over?

Are you stuck inside a world you hate?

Are you sick of everyone around?

With their big fake smiles and stupid lies

While deep inside you're bleeding

No one ever lied straight to your face

And no one ever stabbed you in the back

You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay

Everybody always gave you what you wanted

You never had to work it was always there

You don't know what it's like

No, you don't know what it's like

When nothing feels all right

You don't know what it's like

To be like me

To be hurt

To feel lost

To be left out in the dark

To be kicked when you're down

To feel like you've been pushed around

To be on the edge of breaking down

And no one's there to save you

No you don't know what it's like

Welcome to my life

Is it a fate?

Thanks God you gave me a chance by opening my eyes for everything happened around me now. Maybe i'm just too fool for ever trust someone for one more time. It's hard for me to trust someone before. But why... What now? I've stucked!
Nb : why must I be so stupid like u mom?

Broken pieces

This morning It's my fault being here and got curious of what they said
I don't know that I'm the one who become that weak or what
I just know It's hurt
I just wanna shout at him, "you're blaming me for what I've done, why don't you try to look at yourself first" (your room got a mirror right?)
For once, I think that Death is better
But there's a strength from my heart, say,  you can do it. I'm with you...
You know who is he? He's God
I believe that There's so many reason for my existence
Don't HE loves all their children?
I'm waiting for your right time and place
I'm no longer me, I'm yours Lord


ps : Mom, If only you were here....

Ego Ego and Ego

today i just realize something that not everyone really understand you by getting close to you
they seemed care for you, but actually everyone had their ego
I'm not saying that i dont have that kind of ego
but I've ever been in so hard condition so I know how it feels
why you can't understand me even just a little
I'm not a high person that can have my everything just by asking for it
You never struggle for a thing that you really want, don't you?

Shooting Star

I guess this song has a brilliant lyric
Shooting Star by Owl City
Quite giving us a motivation I think
here it is

Shooting Star

Close your tired eyes, relaxing them.

Count from 1 to 10 and open them.

All these heavy thoughts will try to weigh you down, but not this time.

Way up in the air, you're finally free, and you can stay up there, right next to me.

All this gravity will try to pull you down, but not this time.

When the sun goes down, and the lights burn out,

Then it's time for you to shine.

Brighter than the shooting star, so shine no matter where you are.

Fill the darkest night, with a brilliant light,

'cause it's time for you to shine.

Brighter than a shooting star, so shine no matter where you are, tonight.

Wooh, wooh, wooh.

Brighter than a shooting star,

Shine no matter where you are, tonight.

Gazing through my eyes, when the fire starts,

And fan the flame so hot, it melt our hearts.

All the pouring rain, will try to put it out, but not this time.

Let your colours burn, and brightly burst, into a million sparks, but all dispersed and illuminate a world,

That'll try to bring you down,

But not this time.

When the sun goes down, and the lights burn out,

Then it's time for you to shine.

Brighter than the shooting star, so shine no matter where you are.

Fill the darkest night, with a brilliant light,

'cause it's time for you to shine.

Brighter than a shooting star, so shine no matter where you are, tonight.

Wooh, wooh, wooh.

Brighter than a shooting star,

Shine no matter where you are, tonight.

A thousand heartbeats beating time, and makes this dark planet come alive. So when the lights flicker out tonight, you gotta shine.

When the sun goes down, and the lights burn out,

Then it's time for you to shine.

Brighter than the shooting star, so shine no matter where you are.

Fill the darkest night, with a brilliant light,

'cause it's time for you to shine.

Brighter than a shooting star, so shine no matter where you are, tonight.

Wooh, wooh, wooh.

Brighter than a shooting star,

Shine no matter where you are, tonight.

A forgiven

After a long time that we never have those kind of a bad argument
Last time I just saw his chat with other girl
how can he getting so close with her
He such flirting with her
after having some unimportant chats, I just asking him for a breakup
then I pray to God for help
as I read the bibble that I get from him last time
Finally I saw this quote :

Mark 11: 25,26

"And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses"

it's a new life

One of my friend asked me going to church today
Of course I want because of my interest on their topic "The End of Time"
Finally, after I answered that altar call, I decided to accept Him as my Savior
I am a new born start from now
I just can't describe how I feel when I was put into the water, and finally I woke up from it, All my pain seem fly away. My footstep feel lighter than before.
Although my knowledge about Christian is limited, not as much as my friend
I wanna surrender my whole life to Him
I do believe in Him
I would find my peace
Please save me :)

some old memories

I have loved this song since I first heard it years ago.
It really relates to situations that have happenened.
I absolutely love their lyrics from the start to the end.

IRIS

And I'd give up forever to touch you

'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be

And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment

And all I can breathe is your life

And sooner or later it's over

I just don't wanna miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's meant to be broken 

I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming

Or the moment of truth in your lies

When everything feels like the movies

Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive